A family member, uses a lot the term i can not do, and as a result he indeed does not try to do any complicated task!
My 3 year old picked up this word from this family member and started using it quite frequently, and every time he finds something a bit complicated he says i can not or i don’t know how to do it, so that we give him the answer and he gets with the easy way, for that i started forbidding him to use this word!
To a 3 year old, this would be the worst educational error or parental error, to allow the kid to use the i can’t do, and letting him/ her get away with it!!
He started using it when he does not want to walk, to go up the stairs, when he wanted us to give him a solution to a difficult task !
Why this is a big error education wise, simply because it limits the possibilities for the child, it tells him that’s ok to give up without trying, it has probably a big influence on the learning process and problem solving process, it will thus influence the development of his intelligence, making him a little bit less smart than what he / she had the potential to be! And he will not have the can do attitude that is a great marker of success!
In addition i would encourage the use of i “don’t know” thus he is prompted to further or increase his knowledge about the subject, which is a very positive attitude! And it would give him the habit of getting informed or prepared before doing something he does not know!